I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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