In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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