sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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