quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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