he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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