i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
