He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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