i wish my penis had a tongue
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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