I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
