how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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