idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We had to coat check the pizza.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
