Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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