Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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