Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
