hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
