Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
