rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
