Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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