9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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