I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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