I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His nipple licking is glorious
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