just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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