I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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