is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize