Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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