Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
