dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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