my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Vodka?
Forever.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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