well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
