i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
