OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
