You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
