I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
