I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
