there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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