just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
