is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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