the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
