You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
