I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just invented taco cereal.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
