I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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