I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
