Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
