THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
