here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That accounts for only three of the penises
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
