dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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