carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
