my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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