you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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