I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Randomize