You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
