reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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