U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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