why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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