The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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