Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
