I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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