just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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