Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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