Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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