dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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