he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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