you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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