she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
