I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
